Radical_Houseplant H/18


Currently Offline

  • Name: Riley Browning
  • Age: 18
  • Gender: Female/plant
  • Orientation: omnisexual
  • Race: Plant (I don’t actually know. If I look familiar to you, please fill me in!)
  • Diet: omnivorous
  • Height: varies. Let’s say a 5’ average
  • Job: unemployed. I like to call it being a houseplant
  • Education: online GED.

Well, for starters I grew up on a farm. Literally. Apparently I just kinda sprouted up in Dad’s field one day and he decided to legally adopt me and raise me as the daughter he never had. Since I was rooted in place, he built a little greenhouse around me and tried his best to homeschool me. We’ve actually had no luck figuring out exactly what I am or where I came from. I mean, sure, there’s other types of intelligent plants, but I’m not a dryad or alarune or anything like that. As far as I know, I’m one of a kind, which makes me a bit of a rare catch! 😉

So, about 5 years ago, some scientists showed up at our farm to study me. They hooked me up with this awesome high tech pot that glides along the ground, so I can finally move around and explore the world! I recently moved into their lab in the city, which has been really exciting for a country girl, and I intend to take this chance to meet some more people and make some offline friends.



I really have no idea what I’m doing! Everything is just so new to me, so I’ve just kinda been floating around and taking in the world around me over the past year or so.

I still spend a lot of time on my phone. Even with all this real world stuff going on, I still like to keep up with all my usual sites since the internet was my only chance to socialize for so long. It’s kind of like my comfort zone, you know?

I still live in the lab, so I don’t have a place of my own per se. I would kind of need someplace to meet up or come over to your place if we’re going to hang out and not have scientists around asking a lot of questions. Promise I won’t get jealous if you already have some houseplants (unless they’re hotter than me).


That I’m a big ol’ hovering plant? They’re giving me all the easy questions on here!

I guess beyond my species, it’d be that I’ve got some crummy people skills, since most of my interactions outside of family have been online. Sorry in advance for when I fuck up ^_^!


Little Shop of Horrors. It had some good ideas, but it keeps making me hungry.


Something with a lot of bass I can dance to. It can get a little wild with all the flailing vines, and I’m just making it up as I go, but I’m pretty sure I’m a great dancer.


You’d be surprised how much you can taste with roots. I can eat regular food, but it’s easy for me to overeat on that kind of stuff. Gimme some spring water and some of that fancy store dirt with all the extra minerals, please. Soft spot for turkey sandwiches tho. Don’t even bother making fertilizer jokes, cuz I’ve heard them all.


RPGs and text-heavy games I can take my time with. Dating sims fall under that too. Also whatever mobile card game I’m hooked on at time


I dig the classics, that’s what I grew up on. Oliver Twist, Anne of Green Gables, Daddy Long Legs, James and the Giant Peach… basically anything with orphans. Orphans used to be really popular in literature, didn’t they?


Little complicated. Sort of up to try anything because I just don’t know any better, tbh. I’m a unique case and I imagine my partner will need to work with me and show me the ropes a little, but I’m super willing to learn.

Physically, my flower can sort of act as either, from what little experience I have. (basically none, lol) I like having things inserted into my stigma but my stamens still feel so good when they’re inside something. So I can pollinate… er, penetrate or be penetrated. Whatever you’re into! I’m really curious to try out everything, you know?

I sort of like being sexy in general. Like showing off for my partner and knowing that they’re actually into me, really. Thirsty for approval, I guess! I’m flexible in a lot of ways, between the vines and just being on the internet (seen some shit). I like to fool around over texts and can sneak in some webcam stuff sometimes for when people have questions.


If you’ve got bad allergies, best stay away. I’m fine for a conversation but hanging around me while I’m turned on and start pollinating, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Kind of live off sunlight, so nocturnal people/species will be difficult to keep up with. Same with people who just want to stay indoors all the time. I had plenty of that when I was immobile for most of my life.

All for experimenting, but not looking to be an experiment myself. I’ve already got enough people researching me, so I want someone who likes me as a person, not just a curiosity.

No‌ ‌smokers.‌ ‌I‌ ‌shouldn’t‌ ‌have‌ ‌to‌ ‌explain‌ ‌why,‌ ‌but‌ ‌I’m‌ ‌flammable‌ ‌and‌ ‌picky‌ ‌about‌ ‌my‌ ‌air‌ ‌supply.‌ ‌


Somebody who wants to be cool and comfortable chilling with a girl who doesn’t get out much but really would like to. The world outside the garden’s nice and all, but I want somebody to share the lols with. Hope to experience something new with you, whether it’s new for you or not.

My Pictures:

Ready for a Date?

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